highlights!:

Thomas Aquinas

Premature ejaculators.

Harper Lee

People who have read only one book in their life and it was To Kill A Mockingbird (and it was their assigned reading in the ninth grade).

Sylvia Plath

Girls who keep journals (too easy).     guilty!

Dan Brown

People who used to get lost in supermarkets when they were kids.

Brothers Grimm

Only children with Oedipal complexes. 

Leo Tolstoy

Guys I want to date.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Guys I want to sleep with. (The difference between the two Russian authors lies in the fact that I think the Underground Man is sexier than Pierre Buzukhov).      again…probably guilty.

There’s loads, and they are all amusing and applicable to people we all know.
Though I love me summa those kooky Brothers Grimm and I’m neither an only child or suffering from an Oedipus Complex…did I beat the system? fuck yeah.